This week of The Great British Bake Off saw the bakers tasked with creating all kinds of different biscuits. Howard Middleton catches us up on all the goings-on.
Frances’s tower of buttons, Louise’s church, Amanda’s rocking horse… over the years, biscuit week has served up more than its fair share of collapsing bakes. This time, it looked like being the turn of the bakers.
Relatively intact for the signature bake, we start with a full complement of bakers as Jeff makes a welcome return for two hours of Viennese sandwich biscuits. The native New Yorker admits he’s still ‘under the weather’ and his coffee and hazelnut creations are ominously called ‘What’s the Matter – Are You Not Feeling Well?’ which we’re told is the classic Bronx reaction to anyone ordering a cup of tea. Unfortunately, the underbaked biscuits look even paler than their baker, although Prue loves the ‘serious coffee’ pick me up.
Somewhat miffed that Jeff appears to be wearing a near-identical outfit of moss green sweatshirt and orange baseball cap, Andy retaliates by pinching a classic American flavour combo of peanut butter and jelly. ‘One of the best Viennese I’ve had for a long time,’ says Paul and Prue admits, ‘I don’t even like peanut butter, and I think they’re wonderful!’
There’s an awkward moment where it looks like Paul is about to shake Andy’s hand… and then he doesn’t. And the same happens with Dylan, as the judges admire his meticulously assembled campfire biscuits with toasted marshmallow meringue. ‘Must have been close to a handshake,’ says Noel. S’more than close, I’d say.
Gill is told that her ‘slightly sweet’ dessert-inspired whirls need more lime curd to offset the passionfruit buttercream. John’s coffee and Irish cream biscuits are deemed to be ‘small but cute.’ ‘Like me,’ declares John.
Vying with John in the cuteness contest are Nelly’s little chocolate and hazelnut dogs. ‘Melt in the mouth,’ exclaims Prue, although Paul questions their Austrian authenticity. No-nonsense Nelly is adamant that he’s been visiting the wrong cake shops in Vienna. ‘You went into posh ones. I’m going into normal ones,’ she smiles.
Having gone to the trouble of dehydrating her own rhubarb, Georgie is disappointed with the speckled results. ‘I don’t think they look tremendously appetising,’ admits Prue, and Paul winces at the ‘sharp’ flavour.
Illiyin’s orange and pistachio biscuits have ‘lost a bit of definition’ but ‘taste good.’ ‘It’s difficult to identify the pistachio,’ adds Paul, which must be a relief to the little nut if it’s ever in a police lineup.
Admitting she’s been having a ‘mare’ of a day, Hazel over-butters her first batch of coffee and caramel biscuits and tries again. Prue notes these ones are not baked. Paul points out she’s forgotten the sugar. Hazel is relieved when an uncharacteristically diplomatic Paul says, ‘I won’t say anything else.’
‘I’ve been too vigorous with my drizzle,’ confesses Mike, and the judges agree. However, they love the ‘subtlety’ of his moreish malted brown butter and raspberry jam whirls.
Creative Christiaan is pushing the baking boundaries again with floral flavours of tarragon, lavender and blueberry. Prue is very pleasantly surprised and declares him ‘quite an alchemist.’ Paul agrees ‘they taste amazing.’
Finally, Sumayah serves up an equally original, elegant bevy of Viennese swans, filled with blackberry and rosemary jam and goat’s cheese and honey buttercream. ‘A little triumph,’ exclaims Prue.
After last week’s pioneering technical challenge, it’s back to the old format of a vague recipe with little indication as to what the final bake should look like. In the judge’s mini-tent, Paul is notably nostalgic about the contents of his grandmother’s biscuit barrel as he tucks in to Prue’s version of a Viscount.
‘Peppermint, cream, biscuit – I know what all those words mean,’ says Mike, but his expression is not optimistic. His fellow bakers are also in a quandary over how long to bake shortbread, how minty is mint cream and tempering temperatures. However, their deliberations are interrupted by the sound of a lone voice declaring, ‘I’m done’ and poor Jeff becomes the first ever baker to quit the show mid bake.
Mike’s fear that he might do even worse than eleventh place last week turns out to be unfounded, not by the presence or absence of Jeff, but by an exemplary bake that catapults him to the top. Disappointed Dylan comes last and declares, ‘I don’t think I ever could have imagined myself putting out anything that bad… but I did.’
Redemption comes swiftly (well, in about four hours) as the bakers take their places for this week’s showstopper of an edible puppet theatre. Dylan’s is a skilfully crafted combination of roasted soya bean flour biscuits, yuzu and mint and miso whisky caramel, recreating a story from Japanese folklore. Much to the baker’s relief, Prue says it has a ‘very interesting flavour’ and is ‘beautifully painted.’
‘Neat as a pin’ is Paul’s assessment of Gill’s crisp retelling of the tale of ‘The Gingerbread Man,’ but Georgie forfeits neatness in a bid to finish her Welsh festival, flavoured with lemon, lavender, chocolate, date and walnut. ‘All slightly underbaked,’ says Paul, but the taste is ‘spot on.’
Nelly brings a tear to the eye with her ‘Forest Dance,’ that’s a very personal account of family love and loss. Paul gulps, allegedly from the sharpness of lemon, and concludes ‘the whole design is exceptional.’
John’s chilli gingerbread walk with his orange cinnamon dog is judged to have a ‘perfect’ level of chilli but lacks detail on the figures. Mike’s farmyard scene with biscotti puppet string controls is ‘really lovely’ but his Florentine curtains are ‘a bit chewy.’
Christiaan’s curtains of boldly piped spritz biscuits frame his charming story of a little boy and his teddy bear looking for a home. With four rotating scenes, Prue admits, ‘I don’t know how you managed to do it in the time’ and Paul declares it ‘one of the best things I’ve ever seen in the tent,’ duly rewarding the baker’s impressive work with a rare showstopper handshake.
‘The cracking’s to represent an old theatre,’ says Andy. It’s a tale that’s almost a tall as the one he’s recreating – an encounter with an escaped pig on the A12. However, his lemon-iced Shrewsbury biscuits and sumac-flavoured gingerbread are swallowed with convincing appreciation.
Trying to stop her shortbread Punch and Judy show from falling over, Hazel says ‘it’s just a nightmare.’ Sumayah comes to the rescue. Having finished her stunning lemon and poppyseed ‘Enchanted Garden’ mobile theatre, complete with cardamom and cinnamon wheels, she lends a hand (and some firmer royal icing) to her fellow baker.
Poor Illiyin needs assistance of a different kind. Moments after roughly completing her strawberry shortbread scene, the call for a medic goes out as she topples to the floor. Unable to return for judging, it’s left to Noel to uncomfortably take her place. He’s told the flavour is ‘good,’ the biscuit is ‘underbaked’ and it’s ‘missing the puppet element.’
And then it’s Dylan’s turn to hit the deck as he over-reaches for his water bottle and falls off his stool. Andy wonders if he’s accidentally stumbled into a murder mystery but Dylan survives with only his dignity scathed.
In the end, Hazel’s ‘wonky’ creation seals her fate, whilst Sumayah’s ‘fantastic’ work earns her the week’s Star Baker title. Having shown commendable camaraderie and calm creativity, in the words of Hazel’s Mr Punch, ‘That’s the way to do it.’
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