‘We started with twelve,’ says Noel, sombrely. ‘Now, just three remain,’ adds Alison, with equal gravitas. Oh, they’re so good at the epic movie narration style; if you don’t have goosebumps already, I’d seriously question your commitment to Bake Off fandom.

Goosebumps or not, some viewers may find the revelation of the final signature bake somewhat alarming. ‘Scones?’ exclaims Prue, with mock horror, as she mimics the anticipated reaction of a nation’s jaws collectively dropping. She and Paul go on to argue that it’s really tricky to achieve ‘the perfect scone,’ which he describes as having ‘a flat top and level sides.’ Fortunately, none of the bakers produce anything so unyieldingly unappetising.

With twelve savoury and twelve sweet scones to make, Dylan appears to be going for traditional fillings of strawberry jam and clotted cream, but his ‘twist’ is to pickle the strawberries first in rice vinegar and chamomile. For his savoury selection he’s adding fennel seeds to the dough and sandwiching them with smoked salmon, cream cheese and celeriac purée.

Georgie too is keeping things classic with raspberry jam and cream, but she’s also making passionfruit curd and putting fresh berries in her dough. ‘It’s hard to get a completely uniform shape,’ she admits, as the unruly first batch are subsequently ditched, and she starts afresh. Her savoury scones have Mediterranean flavours of olive, feta and anchovies and are generously spread with cream cheese and tapenade. Despite looking ‘a bit wobbly,’ Prue says the sweet ones win for being ‘lighter and cakey-er.’ Paul agrees the savoury ones are ‘a bit tough’ but he likes the stronger flavour.

‘I’m out of here,’ exclaims Prue, when she sees the amount of chilli Christiaan is planning to put in his curried cheese scones. However, she sticks around long enough to be won over. Combined with cooling whipped feta, fresh parsley and pine nuts she’s impressed to discover a ‘comforting, warming feeling’ that’s also ‘light and fresh.’

Skilfully combining the conventional with the not-so, Christiaan keeps the clotted cream in his sweet batch but mixes things up with a lime and coconut scone and passionfruit curd. The filling melts a little but Paul still deems them ‘unusual’ and ‘baked well,’ whilst Prue cheerfully concludes ‘they’re excellent!’

Now, we’re used to the dramatic editing that typically sees bakes completed in the nick of time, but on this occasion, Dylan is well and truly beaten by the clock. ‘It’s really messy,’ says Prue, surveying the scene of half-assembled scones. On the positive side, his savoury ones are judged to have a good flavour and texture, but Paul says the chamomile and strawberry scones are ‘tougher,’ and Prue adds, ‘I don’t get enough chamomile… or strawberry.’

The strawberries hope to make a more impactful return in the afternoon tea themed technical, but having exhausted scones in the first challenge, the bakers are given three hours to produce four strawberry tartlets, four mini lemon cakes and four plaited bread rolls filled with egg and cress.

Dylan, who seems to be having a really bad day, suddenly discovers he’s completely forgotten how to plait. And then his cakes sink, and his pastry shrinks. Paul, however, is not holding back. ‘The plaiting’s terrible!’ he roars, and with ‘rushed’ pastry and a ‘ropey’ sponge, Dylan inevitably takes third place. ‘I’m not convinced by that layout,’ says Paul of Georgie’s indecisive arrangement of her strawberries.

Along with cake and pastry that are both ‘overbaked,’ she comes in second; a spot that Christiaan has occupied so many times that I find myself tearing up as he finally achieves his first technical triumph.

Now, if you like your food to sway unpredictably as you try to cut it, the showstopper challenge of a three-tier hanging cake is just your cup of tea. For the rest of us, one nagging question remains – ‘why?’

Nevertheless, the bakers get into the swing of it (sorry). Georgie’s summer garden themed cake is impressively finished with elderflower buttercream in pastel shades; one tier stencilled, and the others prettily decorated with palette knife petals. ‘Magnificent,’ says Prue of its appearance, and she’s equally impressed with the combination of lemon sponge, lemon curd, strawberry and champagne confit and elderflower and champagne mascarpone cream. ‘Beautifully baked,’ says Paul, and Prue agrees it’s ‘utterly delicious.’

After several attempts, some worryingly extreme angles of manoeuvre and a couple of expletives, Christiaan finally hooks his cake onto its stand. Picky Paul immediately points out that the second tier is ‘not quite as polished’ as the others; a fact that is painfully obvious to Christiaan too. With cake flavours of lemon and poppyseed, lemon thyme and cardamom, and a raspberry and liquorice jam, Prue admits ‘I’ve
never tasted anything like that before,’ but, though she likes the flavours, she thinks they’re a might too strong.’ Paul, however, admires the baker’s commitment to the ‘unusual’ and concludes it’s ‘very Christiaan.’

On to Dylan’s cake, and the judges look a little taken aback. Three huge cubes of red, yellow and blue are given a distressed finish to mimic the crumbling plaster of buildings in Murano. ‘Quite abstract,’ says Paul, and Prue adds that party guests would need an explanation as to ‘what’s going on here.’ Paul gives one final outing to his favourite word ‘concertinaed’ as he cuts into the genoise, but both judges like the addition of candied orange and Prue says the Earl Grey flavour ‘works really well.’ Ironically, for a hanging cake, Paul decides it’s ‘not very well balanced’ but still concludes it’s ‘fascinating work.’

‘Is your tongue blue?’ Dylan unexpectedly asks Paul, who subsequently shows that it is. And, having spent most of the episode uncharacteristically stressed, Dylan finally roars with laughter.

As for this year’s champion, Prue says, ‘you could make a case for each of them.’ Meanwhile, at the celebratory gathering of fellow bakers, friends and family, Mike says he thinks Georgie has done it, Jeff opts for Dylan and both Nelly and Illiyin root for Christiaan.

And Mike turns out to be right. In that Great British Bake Off tradition, showstopper success beats almost everything that has gone before. Having promised Paul that she’d roll down the hill if she won, Georgie does just that. Poor Christiaan returns to being ‘the bridesmaid’ not ‘the bride,’ but if anyone is drawing up a wedding gift list, I’d personally add the platter that Christiaan used to display his tiramisu in week seven. It may be small consolation, but as far as cake stands go, that really is the winner.