After last week’s guest appearance in the tarte Tatin technical, pastry is back for its starring role in week five of the competition. It seems a sensible slot in the tent’s timetable; establishing a basic baking skill reasonably early on and learning lessons from the cake-centric series thirteen, which disastrously delayed it until the quarter final, only to show the bakers’ grasp of the discipline was… flaky.

No such fear this year, as Gill claps her hands in delight and Nelly tries to resist saying she’s ‘good at pastry’ in case it jinxes her chances.

As they work on the signature bake of twelve frangipane tarts, most of the bakers seem to have a different definition of ‘blind baking’ to me – simply popping their naked pastry cases in the oven without any weights. Nelly and Sumayah appear to be the only ones sensibly opting for ceramic baking beans, whilst the others look bewildered by their puffy shortcrust.

‘Illiyin,’ says Dylan, anxiously, ‘don’t freak but your tarts in the oven… the walls are coming off.’ Illiyin furiously bins the offending pastries and starts again. Her fresh batch of tropical-inspired treats with mango, passion fruit and coconut look pretty but pale, and the judges agree they’re ‘underbaked.’

Faring better with his second attempt, Dylan’s dark chocolate, coffee and blackberry tarts are judged to be ‘well baked’ but missing the frangipane flavour.

Christiaan’s apricot tarts with cashew and black sesame frangipane are packed with flavour but Prue isn’t convinced by the look of them; likening the filling’s appearance to both ‘fried mushrooms’ and ‘sardine pâté.’

‘Dinky’ is Prue’s description of Gill’s tarts as she takes a break from her usual ‘northern portions’ in favour of finesse. You can practically see the word ‘handshake’ floating through Paul’s head as he bites into the perfect pastry, pistachio frangipane, blueberry compote and peaks of crème diplomat, but he settles instead for a heartfelt ‘great job – they taste amazing.’

Georgie gives her classic Bakewell flavours of raspberry and almond an extra topping of mascarpone and crème Chantilly and gets a ‘really good job’ from Prue. And, despite them being overbaked, Prue says she ‘could definitely eat a whole one’ of Andy’s pistachio, almond, lime and chocolate creations.

Joining Andy in the ‘overbaked’ corner, Sumayah’s coconut, raspberry and meringue-topped tarts are partially redeemed by their ‘good looks’ and ‘good textures’. In Paul’s eyes, Nelly’s Italian meringue topping is ‘all over the place,’ but he and Prue love the blood orange and hazelnut flavours, despite some ‘quite thick’ pastry.

‘I hope it’s not f… filo,’ says Andy, considering the technical challenge that’s about to face them, adding ‘cos I’ve never made that before.’ Well, he’s making it now, as the bakers have two and a half hours to master a spinach and feta spanakopita. ‘Think big sausage roll,’ he tells himself, somewhat unconvincingly. He and Gill battle with their uncooperative pastry, but it’s un-squeezed spinach that leads so many bakers to encounter that Bake Off classic, the ‘soggy bottom.’  

Dylan is thrilled with his ‘scrumdiddlyumptious’ bottom, and he cops the spanakopita top spot. ‘Always the bridesmaid…’ bemoans Christiaan, as he comes second yet again.

Now, I know I said this week was a ‘sensible’ outing for pastry, and the choux showstopper of a classic Paris Brest seems entirely appropriate too. And then some bright sparks on the Bake Off team decide it needs the addition of an edible cake stand. ‘Why?’ I hear you ask. Frankly, I have no idea. Perhaps it’s meant to add an element of jeopardy. Maybe they overspent last week’s budget on Le Creuset and Magimix and now can’t even afford a quick trip to Ikea.

Relatively unfazed by the bizarre brief, the bakers choose their building materials with varying levels of success. Opting for nougatine, Dylan and Christiaan both show artistic leanings… but desperately hope for upright support. The former fills his disappointingly flat choux with a generous serving of roasted green tea mousseline and pecan praline before placing it on its shrine-like black sesame stand. ‘It works for me,’ says Paul, but Prue thinks ‘there needs to be more choux to balance it.’ Any more choux and it would be in serious danger of toppling over!

Having binned his first ring for its slightly Cubist misshapenness, Christiaan crafts almond nougatine into a stand of lively curlicues. Prue says it’s ‘Baroque’. I think it’s more Rococo. However, I miss my opportunity to have an intelligent conversation about artistic styles and the judges decide that, despite ‘great flavours’ of pecan, the orange mousseline is ‘too thick.’

As the only baker attempting a stand that’s also made of choux, Nelly should be getting extra (golden) brownie points for the dozens of coconut cream-filled profiteroles she’s made to support her pistachio praline ring. Instead, (in my humble opinion) she’s unfairly criticised for a lack of height.

On the receiving end of one of the most cutting critiques, Georgie is told that her stand of stacked sponges in a chocolate collar tastes better than her pistachio and raspberry choux.

After last week’s close call, Sumayah is back on form with an impressive stand made of almond krokan biscuits. With passion fruit mousseline and chocolate ganache, her Paris Brest filling is judged to be ‘perfect’ but the choux is ‘overbaked.’

‘Sounds precarious,’ says Paul of Andy’s plan to balance his bake on toffee. Even more worrying is the baker’s somewhat dictatorial disclosure that he’s filling the date, caramel and rum flavoured ring with ‘pecan Mussolini.’

‘It looks country baking shop and very sophisticated at the same time,’ says Prue of Illiyin's nut-strewn ‘crown’ filled with hazelnut crème diplomat and chocolate ganache. However, Illiyin is quick to have whipped it off its chocolate pedestal before it’s sliced and although Paul agrees it’s ‘beautiful,’ he admits the incomplete presentation puts her ‘in line for going home.’

Gill, however, is treated to rapturous applause from Paul for her lemon thyme infused creation on a sturdy orange biscuit base. ‘It tastes absolutely divine,’ says Prue, and Gill is duly rewarded with her first Star Baker crown.

‘Oh fudge!’ cries Andy, as his fragile toffee base shatters, along with any hopes of going further in the competition. Capped five times, he’s proudly sported ones in pink, orange, blue, red and yellow. As for the green one that’s still in his wardrobe, I reckon it won’t be too long before it gets an airing on festive Bake Off.

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