There are two things you can pretty much guarantee about the Bake Off semi-final. First, it will be pâtisserie. (Okay, series four chose to call it ‘French week’ instead but thankfully that translation was transitory.) Second, the bakers will be exhausted. The finish line is almost in sight but their marathon stint in the tent continues relentlessly. 

As if to emphasise this point, it’s an even lengthier ordeal than usual as the bakers are given an hour the night before their signature challenge to prepare the dough for two batches of eight breakfast pastries. And then they have three hours to build up those laminated layers, shape, fill, bake and generally finesse them.

Dylan is clearly confused by the split schedule and thinks he only has three hours in total. ‘This sounds quite simple for you,’ says Prue, suspiciously, as he reveals his plan for sixteen croissants – eight filled with hazelnut crème pâtissière and the rest flavoured with cinnamon. It’s a disappointing start. There’s no handshake for Dylan this week, but a bit of a verbal slap from Paul, as he tells him ‘I’m not convinced that piping a load of stuff inside a croissant… is what you should have done.’ Prue agrees the filling is ‘sloppy.’

Gill’s penchant for ‘northern portions’ sits a little uncomfortably with the delicacy of the task. Despite claiming that pâtisserie is ‘a bit faffy’, she sets out to broker an entente cordiale between Paris and Bolton; serving a mouthwatering ‘pain au sausage sandwich’ that marries pork with fennel and Bramley apple, alongside banana and custard pastries. ‘It all tastes excellent… but it is a bit tough’ says Prue.

Picking a fight with Paul’s tastebuds, Christiaan’s ‘tart’ Danish pasties feature saffron roasted ‘punchy rhubarb’ that draws a winning wince from both judges. Prue says the za’atar level in his Gruyère swirls is ‘delicious’ and the whole display is irresistibly ‘inviting.’ ‘Very you,’ concludes Paul, heaping praise on the ‘strong, out of the box flavours.’ 

‘You scorched them,’ is Paul’s searing assessment of Georgie’s chocolate pain Suisse. Prue says they taste ‘lovely’ but are ‘just a little doughy in the middle.’ Her dalgona coffee and hazelnut cream pinwheels are judged to be ‘beautiful’ in appearance and a ‘perfect’ flavour, but Paul picks at the pastry, uses one of his favourite words ‘concertinaed’ and bemoans a lack of lamination.

Distinct layers are a key component of the technical challenge too as the semi-finalists are tasked to produce an opera cake. However, the instructions from (as Alison and Noel dub him) ‘Pâtisserie Paul’ are anything but clear cut. ‘Make the ganache, make the joconde, make the crème au beurre,’ is sufficient direction for some but Georgie looks bewildered. ‘I’ve had enough,’ she says, as she reaches the end of her tether, threatening to ‘stand here until the end.’

Fortunately, a ‘tough love’ pep talk from Alison gets the show back on the road and all four bakes make it to the gingham altar. Georgie’s is ‘uneven,’ Christiaan’s ‘a little untidy’ and Gill’s lacks coffee, but Dylan redeems his ‘sloppy’ performance in the signature with a ‘very neat’ win.

Now, if the signature has been characterised by ‘nearly there’ pastries, the showstopper is ‘spot on’… and then some! The brief calls for twelve fruit-shaped entremets, but very little can prepare us for the simply spectacular results.

‘Yes Georgie!’ exclaims Paul as he gets the kick of limoncello from her zingy lemon and lime mousses on pistachio shortbread. In her blackberry version, Prue loves the contrast of smooth mousse and chunky jam, and the Welsh whisky-soaked chocolate cake hits the spot too. ‘Just a delicious thing to eat,’ concludes Paul.

Recollecting the time her dad lost his car keys whilst the family were strawberry picking, Gill’s perfectly proportioned entremets feature strawberry and mint mousse encased in berry red mirror glaze on lemon shortbread key-shaped biscuits. ‘Exquisite,’ says Paul, and Prue admits she’d ‘be very happy to stand here and gobble the rest up.’

Presented in a nougatine fruit crate, Dylan’s glistening orange and avocado entremets have an immediate wow factor. Slicing through the avocado mousse reveals a realistic chocolate choux bun ‘stone’ and Prue says the cleverly coloured white chocolate ‘skin’ ‘messes with your mind.’ Flavour-wise, the addition of pistachio is judged a subtle success, whilst the combination of sweet mousse, soft genoise and bitter marmalade in the orange ones is equally fruitful. ‘I love that too,’ says Prue, and Paul is so enamoured by the ‘very clever’ display, he doesn’t even notice that Dylan’s an orange short of a full basket.

‘Staggeringly beautiful,’ exclaims Prue, as Christiaan presents his citrus and sour apple entremets accompanied by a lemon shortbread tree with meringue leaves. Beautifully glossy lemons are revealed to contain bergamot mousse and basil jelly on a pistachio dacquoise, which Paul says is ‘just stunning.’ With equal praise for the apples, Prue concludes, ‘I don’t think you’ve put a foot wrong.’

So, Christiaan’s flawless footwork finally takes him on the perfect path to Star Baker, leaving only the question of who’s going home.

I think there are two weeks that are the worst in which to leave the tent. This year, thankfully nobody went in week one, but it’s probably even more heartbreaking to exit at the semi-final. Gill puts on a brave face, but, after such an impressively close competition, would it really have been unconstitutional to put all four through? Sadly, there’s nothing that can be done to stop her heading back to Bolton. Oh, not unless someone hides her car keys.

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