Bringing her own dry sense of humour to the judging chamber, broadcaster Pamela Ballantyne joins Ed, Tom and Lorna, as they’re greeted with a second outing for Marty’s ‘odd’ hands. His canapé is a feuille de brick tart, dusted with seaweed powder and crammed with mushroom cream and salami. Stevie’s is a pomme soufflé filled with crab emulsion. Lorna favours the latter but the others raise their wooden hands for Marty.

Vegan feta croquettes and mousse and a black olive crumb accompany Marty’s starter of carrot five ways, dedicated to the work of Seamus Heaney. Pickled, roasted, fried, puréed and as a ketchup, the carrot quintet is plated in a book-shaped box. ‘I like the book,’ says Tom, ‘but the dish is so uninspiring.’ ‘I think the chef might have just crowbarred a carrot into Seamus Heaney for no reason,’ Ed suggests. ‘That sounds… quite painful,’ quips Pamela.

Stevie’s starter promises a less uncomfortable fusion of Irish and Spanish cuisines in honour of La Girona, a ship from the Spanish Armada that sank off the coast of County Antrim. ‘Lovely to see us celebrating a ship sinking,’ smiles Pamela. Onto a plate of ajoblanco, nasturtium oil and grapes goes his vine leaf dolma filled with Irish barley and oyster mushroom, glazed maitake and a beer cracker. Ed insists there’s a ‘very strong link to the brief,’ even though it’s not clear which Great Briton is the source of inspiration. Lorna doesn’t like the ajoblanco and all agree the vine leaf is ‘tough,’ but the filling and beer cracker prove popular. The food, like the off-course ship is, in Tom’s words, ‘a little lost.’

Someone with a stronger sense of direction is Ted Keenan, the first Irish man to swim the English, North and Bristol Channels. Marty’s fish dish is a swimming-capped nod to Ted in the form of cod poached in seaweed butter, confit potato, champagne roasted bone sauce, crispy capers and puffed cod skin. ‘Right up my street,’ exclaims Tom, adding it’s ‘simple’ and ‘delicious.’ Lorna agrees, only finding fault with slightly ‘soft’ skin. Ed questions if it feels ‘like a banquet dish,’ but Pamela insists ‘there’s nothing more celebratory than fish and chips… and that’s a beautifully done version of it.’

Keen to show off his fish butchery skills, Stevie French-trims a rack of brill, before stuffing it with hake and nduja, then treating it to an orange and rosemary glaze. ‘I have never been put more on edge by a dish,’ exclaims Ed, as the judging chamber is filled with the sound of a rapidly beating heart. The tense tribute to Dr Frank Pantridge, inventor of the portable defibrillator, does little to revive the judges, with Tom saying he feels like he’s ‘eating it in the back of an ambulance.’ Lorna likes the accompanying caramelised fennel purée but thinks the braised fennel is ‘a bit unnecessary.’

‘Quality in Equality’ is Stevie’s main course, which not only celebrates Isabella Tod, founder of the North of Ireland Women’s Suffrage Society, but also sources its ingredients from female suppliers. Serving up tomahawk Irish Moiled beef steak, glazed carrots with carrot-top chimichurri and bone marrow crumb, bordelaise sauce, roasted shallot purée, boulangère potatoes with beef cheek. ‘Absolutely beautiful,’ is Pamela’s verdict on the steak, whilst Lorna thinks the beef cheek is ‘cooked amazingly.’ However, she questions the role of the chimichurri, and Tom isn’t sure that there’s a strong enough link to the brief. ‘Interesting,’ reflects Ed, happy to ignore any concerns in favour of another bite.

There’s no ignoring the presentation of Marty’s main as Ed and Lorna fit in a speedy game of Scalextric before dinner, and Pamela and Tom spectate jealously. Four-time winner of the Irish Tarmac Championship, Bertie Fisher is the honouree of this dish of confit lamb belly, topped with flaked almond, thick slices of lamb cannon and crispy potato rings. A stencilled tyre track of black pea purée on the white plate should reinforce the racing theme but it seems to be lost on the judges. ‘Scruffy,’ says Tom and Ed decides it’s ‘sweet’ but ‘not appetising.’ He’s no fan either of the accompanying lamb sweetbread salad with lamb fat mayonnaise. Lorna thinks the food lacks seasoning. Tom thinks it lacks ‘love.’

The judges find they’re missing something else next, as Stevie decides not to send his pre-dessert at all. ‘Madness,’ he exclaims, as his sea buckthorn lollies fail to set. ‘Unfortunate,’ says Lorna. Andi takes her head in her hands and yells, ‘hectic!’ Sadly, although Marty’s pre-dessert gets to the judges, it’s not exactly making its presence felt. The white chocolate strawberry, filled with strawberry salsa and a shortbread crumble ‘doesn’t taste like anything’ according to Lorna. Tom decides it ‘just wins’ over nothing at all.

His sugar and energy levels safely restored, Stevie completes his menu with a heartfelt tribute to dramatist Brian Friel. ‘Dancing at Lughnasa’ is a foraged bilberry and blueberry tart in heritage grain pastry, served with peat-smoked honey ice cream and a honey-fermented bilberry sauce. ‘Best thing I’ve eaten all day is that pastry,’ exclaims Tom, but he and Pamela question if has enough ‘pzazz’ for a banquet. Ed disagrees, saying ‘a delicious home-made tart that wraps you up in a duvet’ could be the perfect ending.

Marty’s finale is a Thin Lizzy tribute act that empties his last bottle of black food colouring. A black velvet cocoa butter spray covers his rose-shaped chocolate mousse served with raspberry sorbet. Lorna says the mousse is ‘chalky’ and Pamela thinks it’s more like ‘chocolate sponge.’ A vain attempt to create shattering roses with liquid nitrogen unfortunately falls flat as the blooms squish instead. ‘Technically, this falls very, very short,’ bemoans Tom, and Ed agrees the only applause has been ‘clapping a wet rose.’

As the winning bouquet goes to Stevie, the shellshocked chef briefly walks out of the judges’ chamber, then returns, still stunned by the result. ‘I need to start believing in myself a bit more,’ he explains. Marty replies, ‘you need to do it soon, mate.’ After all, he’ll be back on our screens in less than two weeks. Definitely not on Crimewatch, and hopefully not in Casualty.